Sometimes 'No" actually means 'No!'

It amazes me that my children can push and push until they get the answer they want. I pray I'm not alone on this one.

Tonight Trey really pushed. And I didn't give in.

Every night at dinner, we go over the 'plan' for the evening and the next morning. We do this so there are no surprises....no "I didn't know" responses....no opportunities for children to 'pull a fast one' and attempt to change my thinking to match their desires.

Tonight was no different. I gave them the plan. Once dinner was finished and cleaned up, they were to take showers/baths, clean their ears and be ready for bed by 8:00...8:30 at the latest. I told them from the get-go there would be no ice cream. That tonight, I wanted dinner cleaned up and have the kitchen stay cleaned up. No more messes. Of course, Trey balked. He wanted ice cream. I told him....Not tonight.

I also told them that because of the day we were going to have on Sunday, that all four children were to sleep in their own rooms.....No bunking together as they have done almost every night this summer.

The Lord blessed us with four beautiful children. When we got married, we talked about how many kids we wanted. Joe is one of two....I am one of three. So, we decided it was either one child.....or four. We decided we would try for four...and pray that God would grant us our desires. He did. We also talked of having our kids close together as Joe is 10 years older than I. So, we did. Daniel and Trey are 11 months apart and act more like twins than just siblings. When Trey was born, he adapted right to Daniel's schedule. He ate when Dan ate....slept when Dan slept and was awake when Dan was awake. And ever since the two have been close to inseparable.

Joshua came along 19 months after Trey and decided he was not going to be thrown into the same mold as his older brothers. He began to be his own person and do his own thing. He continues this nine years later. Joshua is rarely swayed by anyone....he sticks to his guns and is unrelenting when he believes he is right.

Julia came into the world 17 months after Joshua.....5 days before Daniel, her oldest brother, turned four years old. For those 5 days, I had four children under the age of four. We were so excited. God had granted us the desires of our heart.....three boys and a girl.

Because of the closeness in age, they do a lot of things together....they have a lot of the same friends....they keep each other entertained almost all day. So their sleeping together in Daniel's room is just an extension of their days. Problem is, they end up monkeying around a lot before actually falling asleep.

Sunday, July 2, is God and Country Day at our church. It is also 10 Commandments Sunday. In the evening our Choir and Orchestra as well as some members of the children's choir will be presenting our annual Celebrate America performance. We will present the program twice. In the morning, the children will be singing along with the Choir in both morning services. This makes for a very long day for a lot of us, including and probably especially, the children.

Hence, the decision for the children to sleep in their own rooms....in their own beds.

And Trey pushed. I lost count around time number 14 that he mentioned he wanted to sleep with Daniel. I told him all 14 times....'No.' He then pushed again about the ice cream. Again, I said, 'No.' He then proceeded to clarify with me that I was telling him 'no' to ice cream for no reason. Pretty much. I didn't have to have a reason to say no to ice cream. The fact is...I said No. I meant it.

Then he went back to his desire to sleep with Daniel. Again, I said No. By this time, my patience is slowly being whittled away by this precious little boy whom I love dearly. And it is at that moment that I ponder the fact that I can get so frustrated with the people I love the most. Why is that?

I then decided that what Trey needed was a firm talking to....and I'm sure the level of my voice rose just a bit. I made him keenly aware that I am the mother....he is the child and that when I say 'No,' sometimes I really do mean 'No.'

By the time Trey was ushered to bed, he was crying. I asked him what was wrong and he said he didn't know.....but that he doesn't like his room and that it gives him the creeps. As someone who loves being in her room, I cannot understand this concept, but I tell him I love him...kiss him goodnight and close the door.

I sit here now in the quiet of my home....praising God that He gave me four kids who are not wall-flowers....four kids who stand up for what they believe....four kids who have valid opinions and are confident enough in their thinking to let it be known.....four kids who are precious in God's sight....

And oh so precious to this mother.